member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
