We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i barfeds in our rink
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
