So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
