Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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  (248): The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo ! http://tfl.nu/e5q2
  Replies (5) Good night (1525) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.

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  (208): Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible. http://tfl.nu/1gp8
  Replies (27) Good night (2959) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  wow.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, it was that bad.

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  (215): i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me" (267): wow. (215): yeah, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/hwqj
  Replies (18) Good night (805) Bad night (4440)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you

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  (516): Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you http://tfl.nu/9qq5
  Replies (39) Good night (6366) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.

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  (740): she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God. http://tfl.nu/z4ck
  Replies (47) Good night (2739) Bad night (3334)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.

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  (917): i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him. http://tfl.nu/coq9
  Replies (9) Good night (4807) Bad night (1356)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen

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  (716): Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen http://tfl.nu/h1qo
  Replies (10) Good night (1383) Bad night (4838)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

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  (774): I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard. http://tfl.nu/r66v
  Replies (7) Good night (2230) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  what do i owe you?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  $237.46 to be exact.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.

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  (920): what do i owe you? (1-920): $237.46 to be exact. (920): if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it. http://tfl.nu/pegg
  Replies (9) Good night (2390) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"

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  (773): We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below (773): When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!" http://tfl.nu/bs1p
  Replies (4) Good night (1947) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch

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  (810): if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch http://tfl.nu/vxbt
  Replies (15) Good night (2394) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.

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  (865): Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts. http://tfl.nu/is6y
  Replies (7) Good night (1625) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want

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  (916): I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want http://tfl.nu/luqp
  Replies (7) Good night (1172) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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  (908): I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/8q70
  Replies (1) Good night (833) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave

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  (304): I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave http://tfl.nu/i4i9
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (335)

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