my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale