u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
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I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
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I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.