Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum