But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
