Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I touched a dick in church today
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