he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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