i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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