FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
