I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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