yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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