he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
