If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
