Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
