Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
