The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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