I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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