Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha