He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
