I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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