How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
