Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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