There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
