You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
