see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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