5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
