I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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