I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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