Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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