i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
