So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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