they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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