Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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