Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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