yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
