Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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