Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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