Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
