Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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