Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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