I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
