Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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