You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
