It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
