he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
