FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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