I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
