I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
