Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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