Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
