i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
