I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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