How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
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My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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