One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
