You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
