you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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