I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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