What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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