brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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