I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up under a house in Key West
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