spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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