dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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